Muffler

YUI

GLORIA

Guess what?

 × × × Thursday, 4 February 2010

So I am getting increasingly desperate for an offer because I haven't heard from UCAS since Durham's offer last month. So desperate, in fact, I won't mind getting rejected as long as I have an email from UCAS sitting in my inbox!

I was just talking to Irene, one of my juniors, about this last night. I know I should be grateful for the offer from Durham, but there's this uncanny fear that I won't be able to meet Durham's already low offer of AAC (the prospectus mention AAB so I really should thank my lucky stars).

My morning today was full with lessons, C4 Maths first thing, then Chemistry (revising Module 2 because Dr Thrower insisted) and lastly A2 Human Geography. After a lunch of creamy pork stuff (it was OK) and talked with Aini and Erna for a bit, I decided I need to check my email and act more like the sad thing I am turning into.

(I have frees in the afternoon today – envy me!)

Started up my laptop, connected to internet, opened up Google Chrome...got a glimpse of The Email, then my laptop shut down by itself!

(a string of under-the-breath curses followed the laptop's nonchalant decision to shut itself down)

Reboot my laptop again, slightly worried about the clicking noise coming from it, reconnect to the internet, reopened Google Chrome...

THERE IT IS. THE EMAIL.

UCAS has finally emailed me, informing me of "a change in status" in my UCAS application. No time to be over the moon. Opened up the UCAS track page and, blood pounding in my ears, logged in. Got a prompt to enter my passport details. Filled in the form without hesitation and clicked on choices when I was done.

Oh my lucky stars.

Will you believe me if I tell you this? I received two conditional offers! Both from Leicester, which is cheating a bit, but still two offers! Woohoo!

Both ask for BBB and English Language Qualification.

Suddenly I am no longer depressed and I started singing a World Cup song from thousands of years ago: Celebrate the Day. It didn't matter I don't remember any of its lyrics apart from Celebrate the day, the day, the day~~~. I was overjoyed OK!

So now I have three offers. Another two to go, and hopefully I won't have long to wait for them!

Sing with me! Celebrate the day, the day, the day~~~

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 3:16 PM  |  0 Comments


Cynism

 × × × Sunday, 13 December 2009

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 1:04 AM  |  0 Comments


my entry for 2009 World Books Day Short Story Competition: Ivy

 × × × Thursday, 5 November 2009

"I don't know whose fault she thought it was, but it definitely wasn't mine."

I looked at her and she looked suspiciously back at me. She didn't believe me, and why should she? I had lied to her before. Not on purpose, but still.

I stood up abruptly. "I should go."

She said nothing. As I let myself out of her apartment, she didn't even move. I didn't expect her to see me to the door, but still. Ah, whatever. I should have learnt long ago not to expect anything from her.

The mobile phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out. It was an unknown number. I was about to reject the call when I suddenly remembered. I glanced at my watch. Quarter to seven. Hell, I was late.

"Sorry, I'll be right over."
"Right over where?" The voice on the other end was cold. Ivy. Again.
"Johnny. I forgot to pick him up."
"Oh." Still the flat, cold tone. Why couldn't this woman give me a break?
"Talk to you later." I hung up and hurried towards the car.

It was just after half past seven when I pulled up in front of the school. Johnny was standing under a street light with his head down, the yellow light giving him a hauntingly lonely look. He looked up when I opened the car door.

"Hey."
"Get in, kid."

Johnny got into the front passenger seat. His hair was wet and his clothes were soaked. He shivered involuntarily. The road was wet. It must have rained sometime ago.

"Want me to turn the heat up?"
He shrugged. "Sure."

The drive back was silent, as usual. Johnny seemed to have a lot on his mind lately; he had a faraway look in his eyes. It must be girls. He was coming up to that stage now. Heck, who am I to judge him, I have my own set of problems too. Ivy and her sister...

The house was dark when we got back. Johnny went in first, got all the lights switched on and began clattering about in the kitchen. I took out the mobile phone and tossed it onto the sofa, then headed out to the balcony with a pack of cigarettes.

"Hey, kid."
"Yeah?"
"Want a smoke?"
He sounded wary. "Maybe later."
I smiled to myself. "Just kidding, kid."

I was leaning on the balcony, looking at the starlit sky, smoking and thinking about nothing when there was a loud bang. I rushed inside and found Johnny holding a gun that was smoking at the barrel. My gun.

"Hey!"
"I...I found it in the drawer. I didn't...didn't know it was loaded."
"Put it back," I barked.

He shot me a frightened look but put it back.

I sighed and looked around the living room cum kitchen. There was a hole in the wall where the bullet was lodged. Couldn't do anything about it now. Maybe I would have it filled and painted over tomorrow when Johnny was at school. And hide the gun in another place, I reminded myself.

"Did mother called?"

I focused my attention back to Johnny. He had his back to me, the blue apron too big for him, frying something at the stove. Poor kid, he never have a chance to know his mother, and it was my fault, but he never blame me.

"Yeah, she did."

He shrugged to show he had heard and continued frying. I picked up the mobile phone and went back outside the balcony. I thought for a while of what she and I had talked about before I went and picked up Johnny. I thought about all the hurtful things she had said over the years, but I want her to believe me this time. Just this time.

Before I regret it, I dialled her number. She picked up after the second ring.

"What do you want?" She demanded.
"Johnny just asked about you."
"Oh? So?"
I cringed at her cold tone. "Just wanna let you know."
Ivy laughed. "It's amazing, the way you think I still care about him."
"He cares about you."

She laughed again. I stubbed out the cigarette and threw it into an unused flower pot on the balcony, and waited until her laughter stopped. "Listen. It wasn't my fault."

Her tone turned angry. "Then whose fault was it?"
"Your sister's."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "How dare you accuse my sister of...of...coming onto you!"
"That's the truth."
"You drugged her!"

The accusation rang in my ears. For a while neither of us spoke. She really had changed, I told myself for the umpteenth time. Since that day she left both Johnny and me, she had become sarcastic, angry, and she blamed it all on me. Said I messed up her life. It was a hundred and eighty degrees turn from what she used to be like. Sometimes I wondered why I still put up with her.

"You know I didn't."
"I know you did all right."

I didn't reply. Why oh why life can't be as simple as those innocently blinking stars. She laughed again. She thought she was winning, she thought she was right. She really had changed, but I still love her. Not as Johnny's mother, but as my wife. We haven't officially divorce yet, because I refused to divorce her.

"Ivy."
"Rot in hell." She said acidly and hung up.

The dial tone beeped annoyingly, but I still held the phone to my ear. The stars are so bright today, blinking away peacefully, just like they did so many years ago when Ivy was still Ivy, when both of us watched them on top of the hill, when I thought she and I will be together forever. A delicious smell drifted from inside the house. A while later, Johnny said from behind me, "come eat, father."

I turned around and followed him inside, where dinner was laid on the only table in the room, the mobile phone tucked in my pocket. It was fried noodles tonight.

Ivy's favourite.

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 5:01 PM  |  0 Comments


Model Excuses for Dummies

 × × × Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Today I was tagged in FaceBook by my friend Resha in this note called Silent Confession. That has a nice ring to it.

Questions in the note (which is actually just for the heck of it):

1. Why you just can't be honest with yourself?
2. Why is it hard for you to accept it?
3. Why is it you find it a burden on you?
4. If telling the truth is wrong then lies is right?
5. If telling lies is wrong then is spouting the truth right?
6. If I choose to tell the truth, will you tell me lies?

So I thought to myself: To heck with it, I'll just write something like a guide for dummies. So here you go. Model Excuses for Dummies.
1. I AM honest with myself. I just invent new truth and lies.
2. It's not hard. I just have a unique way of accepting it.
3. It's not just a burden, it's a RESPONSIBILITY. I have to keep my sanity in the process, you know.
4. I won't say telling the truth is wrong, nor would I say the latter is right as well. It's a matter of perception. When perceptions are different, there is bound to be some...clashes.
5. Again, my answer is as above.
6. Well, opposites DO attract.

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 10:17 AM  |  0 Comments


No Apologies

 × × × Thursday, 13 August 2009

have you felt so alive
that you turn off the fuckin light
shoots the bullets the through the wall
and promised your family that you never fall
memories keep bouncing up and down
one person turn everything into dreams
every thought of time broken into scenes
movies created a mind been elevated
shots runnin through the brain again
see eyes fallin down with the river across
time passes by with no single applause
everything is just a shake
and what else can we take
look upside down
and bury yourself underground
movin out of town just to carry the crown
listen to the sound
your heart start to pound
tick and tock
more spinnin of this clock
time is more when reincarnated
just passed days motivated
with no hesitaion like no confrontation
just no more protection under a mask
a mission of a task
starts a firery gun on the blast
and crack a bottle for how long you could last

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 3:00 PM  |  0 Comments


story of his life & my search for the right

 × × × Sunday, 12 April 2009

I was chatting with Caesar, my senior, on MSN (yes, again...) when he suddenly told me he had to write this MinDef essay for Brunei Times. I was immediately awed - it is my dream to see my work on a newspaper, a considerably huge headline with the words 'by Jolene Wong' or some pseudonym underneath. Life have thrown him oranges, and demand he make jam out of them.

At that time, he confessed that he had no idea how to write it at all. His life story and how he came to be who he is today. The essay is supposed to be inspirational. Life is a huge topic - there are just too much to write about, and halfway through it he thought he had written a sob story instead, to the extent it made him want to cry. Not a good sign. I tried to cheer him up and on, because if he overcome the dilemma, he can really write a very inspirational story. I know because his level of essay writing is way above mine. I know I sound conceited but I consider myself an excellent essay writer.

However, just hours later he produced an essay, and moi is proud to present it to you! P.S. I titled the essay. It seemed to be his sixth version. And if you think the title for this blog post seemed familiar, it is. It is the opening sentences in Rihanna's song, Unfaithful.

Story of My Life
by Caesar Chin

My life journey as far as I can remember has always been a rough, choppy sea; there were many turning points full of setbacks, difficulties and…tears. I’m the second child in my family after my sister with two younger brothers and therefore luxury is a word not found in our dictionary. My family of six had to cramp into the two rooms in our rented house till I was in primary six. I remember I had to drag the goats we rear out to the grazing field almost everyday before and after school (sometimes it was the goats which dragged me!) and water the vegetables and fruits every now and then.

When I was in primary school, I was never inspired to study hard, mainly because I never managed to be the top 3 in my class which my father highly expected me to. Yes, I often do badly back then and my father will discipline me with the famous “rotan” treatment. However, as I look back, my first turning point would be when I joined the Brunei National Junior Table Tennis Squad in primary 4 which allowed me to represent Brunei in many overseas competitions held in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Laos and Indonesia. The training was intensive but the notion of hard work began to creep into my mind. Eventually I managed to get 4A 1B in my PCE exam. Nevertheless it was not enough for me to enter Maktab Sains, which my father had hoped.

Life became much harder after PCE. I was transferred to a government secondary school and my family had to move into my late uncle’s old deserted house which we renovated ourselves. Thus till now we have no proper water and electrical supply. Yet this was the most important of my life experiences so far as it made me strong-minded. I was third in class when I had my first assessment in Form 1 and that motivated me to work diligently. However, the deep desire to be “Number 1” burns deeper and I vowed to change the current predicament of my family. The lack of electricity did not hold me back from striving for my goals even if I had to study by candle light for public exams.

As I entered A-Level I began to play and study hard; I became known as the most competitive student in school and also the person who keenly participated in almost all the CCA available in school. I also have a big passion for music and I have taken up violin since my L6 and now I’m going to venture the saxophone when I’m overseas. True enough, the efforts were worth the time and the fruits collected were abundant.

I believe everything happens for a reason…and the reason is who I am here today. From a happy-go-lucky person to a strong-minded and proactive individual, I realised the prestigious MINDEF scholarship is the best path for me as it gives me many opportunities to expand my potentials beyond my horizon. To be the first student sent to France also makes me feel really honored. I hope when I graduate I can shape Brunei into a stronger, dynamic and prosperous nation that we can all boast about! To my Government of Brunei, my family and friends, I thank you all because without everyone, I wouldn’t be where I am standing today.

"If we have hope, we will have light and the light will guide us to be a better person everyday than we were yesterday. So never give up hope!"
To read the article in luxury Brunei Times format, click here.

Sheepishly, I would like to say that I had written my own version as well. I never pass up on writing as far as essay writing (not academically) is concerned. Mine is injected with too much colourful details, but that's just me being conceited. Into the fifth paragraph I was just starting to talk about my rascal-ness of my primary school years. It is so long compared to his, I think I best not post it up this time.

Maybe next time after I refined it a bit. * wink *

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 12:51 AM  |  0 Comments


Love Stories

 × × × Monday, 6 April 2009

Love Story | Rain | Rainism


This song brought me back to the painful times I went through when he left me, a period of time I felt like the living undead, living all the routines with a hole in my heart. I worried both my parents with my lack of emotions and hysterical crying at night, but no matter how hard they coaxed I just would not tell. I was in trouble already by behaving like this. Until now they are still in the dark as to why my behavior was so erratic during that period. Daddy and mom, thanks for your support. :) I love you!

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 3:07 PM  |  0 Comments


Wake Up Calls

 × × × Tuesday, 24 March 2009

After months of not having Borneo Bulletin in my grasp, I miss the Bruneian newspaper so much that I visited the website. It is not as good as reading it in paper form, but it sure is more environment-friendly, or green as media put it.

Since I was, and still am, an avid fan of Borneo Bulletin Weekend, I checked out that part of the website first, and found an article relating to just what I had been blogging about two posts ago. Due to the fact that the BB website is updated frequently, to retain the article I will post it here.

Change your attitude, change your life
By Kartini Knox


"I have some kind of infection, the doctor doesn't know what's wrong and I'm in bed, on painkillers and antibiotics, until who knows when", my friend groaned over the phone. I couldn't help feel sorry for her.

Maybe it was coincidence or maybe not, but in a spate of recent bad luck, she had slipped and injured herself, had her car dented and split up with her fiancée.

On reflection of our past conversations and exchanges, the idea flashed through my mind, that there was always something going wrong for her. Circumstances and situations had a tendency to go belly-up, leaving her in despair. Bad luck followed her around like a bad smell. Was she jinxed?

Not being the superstitious type, it dawned on me that maybe her problems could be pinned to her attitude. We've all had days when we got out of the wrong side of bed and things got progressively worse as the day went by. If anybody deserved the label "Misery Guts" tattooed across their forehead - she was one of those people.

When not ranting on about her job, her colleagues, deadlines, rules and regulations, she would moan about her salary, which wasn't enough she said, to compensate for all the headaches she put up with in the line of duty. "Phone bills, car bills!" she'd sigh. Apparently, her monthly pay packet never lasted long enough - (a daily fact of life for most of us!)

Apart from her working life, her personal life was a frequent topic of mind-numbingly repetitive grumbling.

Her rants about how her nearest and dearest constantly disappointed her were not only restricted to coffee-shop conversations. Whenever somebody incurred her wrath (and it didn't take much - forgetting her birthday would do the trick) she would have no qualms about expressing her temperamental frustration online through Facebook for all to see. If she was expecting sympathy, it had the opposite effect. The next thing we'd hear about would be how the latest love of her life had deserted her. I wasn't surprised. Her attitude was enough to scare anybody away!

That's not to say I didn't sympathise with her. But her attitude needed a makeover! It's no secret that positive thinkers seem to have better luck than negative people. On the other end of the spectrum, her on-going resentments and disgruntlements were taking over her life! Any redeeming qualities she had once possessed were fast disappearing, along with her sense of humour. This girl could never remain cordial with anybody for long, and was constantly picking fights for no reason, other than what could be put down to her personal insecurities. Her lack of faith in herself and low self-esteem seemed to drive away friends, old and new. Apart from providing an open ear to her dramas, there was nothing I could do to help, short of telling her to stop being such a grouch!

You may have had a terrible childhood, spent half your working life unemployed and had your pet cat die on you after paying a fortune on vet bills, but limiting the chronic commiserating with friends, will do wonders for your social life!

If you've known a Chronic Complainer, who'd rather blame others than accept responsibility or look into their own character flaws, forget about offering any sound advice. It will fall on deaf ears.

If any of these Perpetual Pessimists are reading this, then maybe this is a wake-up call - to change your attitude and change your life!
The above article is a copyrighted material from Brunei Press Sdn Bhd, March 21, 2009.

So now, let's visualise a soceity full of people with attitude like that of the said author's friend. I couldn't bring myself to even sympathise at all.

Here is another article, this time on World Forestry Day in Brunei.
World Forestry Day: Brunei a perfect carbon sink
By James Kon

Brunei yesterday celebrated the World Forestry Day with a flurry of green activities at Bukit Shahbandar Recreational Park. The guest of honour for the celebration was Pehin Orang Kaya Seri Utama Dato Seri Setia Awg Haji Yahya bin Begawan Mudim Dato Paduka Haji Bakar, the Minister of Industry and Primary Resources.

In his opening speech, he said, "Brunei Darussalam is one of the countries that don't contribute to the greenhouse gases because the sultanate's pristine forests act as an effective carbon sink. Brunei's peat swamp forests have been cited by numerous scientists as capable of storing carbon in its ecosystem."

"In the report by the International Panel on climate change assessment, new evidence has shown that climate changes has started to affect many part of Asia. A study on Southeast Asia and the South Pacific for year 2001 has detected changes in regional temperature and rainfall trends.

"The result shows significant decrease in cool days and cold nights. In rainfall patterns, the number of rains days has decreased significantly in Southeast Asia. However proportion of annual rainfall has increased on most stations which mean lesser rainfall events but greater amount of downpour.

" The heavy downpour coupled with rising sea level is an indication of how climate change will affect Brunei Darussalam. Our country will definitely be affected considering temperature and rainfalls are important variables in our economic activities.

"The government of His Majesty the Sultan and Yang Di-Pertuan of Brunei Darussalam has never stopped to fulfill its responsibility to mitigate global warming.

"Brunei Darussalam has actively participated in the UN Framework on Convention of Climate change (UNFCCC) which signify the country's interest to stabilise concentration of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.

"Brunei Darussalam is also a member of the convention of Biological Diversity (CBD). Members commit themselves to achieve a significant reduction of biodiversity loss by 2010."

At the national level, the minister revealed that, "Numerous agencies and organisations in Brunei Darussalam have undertake green projects such as reforestation, energy conservation, energy efficiency promotion and public awareness programmes. The national forestry policy of Brunei Darussalam recognised the basic need to harmonise the relationship of the environment and the human population".

During the ceremony, the minister also presented Dayang Rafidah Hj Omar of Science College, the winning prize for the World Forestry Day Logo 2009 competition. The prize however was received by her representative.
The above article is a copyrighted material from Brunei Press Sdn Bhd, March 22, 2009.

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 4:51 AM  |  0 Comments


my first speech in UK lasted...11 minutes

 × × × Monday, 16 March 2009

Yes, 11 minutes. Too short. Arrgghh!!!

Timing aside, the speech went smoothly. I had to go without my presentation because the projector ain't working. I got quite a lot of positive feedback and a few criticism from Mr Brown. I can take criticism, la... The part that I feared, the Q&A part, went quite smoothly too, surprisingly. And the most important thing is! I. DID. NOT. LOOK. AT. THE. CEILING!!! I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH MY AUDIENCE! OMG!!!

Here is a copy of my script. Copyrighted material, people!

Reducing Carbon Footprint As A Step Towards Tackling Global Warming
  • What is global warming?
  • What causes global warming?
  • What is global warming doing to Earth?
  • What is the world doing about global Warming?
  • What is carbon footprint?
  • What can individual do to help lower the impacts of global warming?
Global warming. I think everyone of us here have heard about this term. It is mentioned in the media all the time, in the newspapers, on the Internet, and on TV. It is everywhere. There are unscientific argument and sensational writings about it. A quick search on the internet gives 26 different definitions, some correct and some completely off track. So what really is global warming?

Global warming is the gradual, noticeable rise in global temperatures as a result of human activities. I want to emphasize that global warming is caused by human activities. What is causing global warming is a natural phenomenon go berserk, the greenhouse effect. This is when gases collectively known as greenhouse gases (GHGs) absorb outgoing long-wave radiation and reflect it back to Earth. This rises the temperature of the Earth by about 33°C. If the Earth is 33°C lower than it is now, life will not be possible on Earth.

There are six GHGs: water vapour, carbon dioxide, methane, oxides of nitrogen, fluorocarbons and ozone. Of all these gases, the level of carbon dioxide has increased significantly since the Industrial Revolution. A way to measure the atmospheric concentration of GHGs is in ppmv (parts per million volume). Before the Industrial Revolution, there were 270 ppmv of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. This has risen to 384 ppmv in 2007, and is expected to reach 600 ppmv in 2050.

The levels of other GHGs have also increased, save for water vapour, of which the concentration in the atmosphere always remain constant. I mentioned just now global warming is a result of human activities. These activities include industries, manufacturing, and deforestation which are releasing more and more GHGs into the atmosphere.

Natural causes of variation in GHGs have been found and some people argue that global warming is a natural process. While greenhouse effect is a natural process and fluctuation of GHGs is itself a natural occurrence, the increase of GHGs in the atmosphere from human activities is causing the Earth’s temperature to increase more rapidly in a shorter period of time than it has for thousands of years. This, in turn is having an effect in different parts of the world. According to NASA [National Aeronautics and Space Administration], world temperatures have risen by an average of 0.8°C since 1880.

Rising sea level. Tuvalu is an island nation located midway between Hawaii and Australia, and is possibly the first victim of global warming. The highest land is only five metres above sea level. Floods that used to occur twice a year now occur every month. One of the smallest islands, Te Pukasavilivili, disappeared underwater in 1997. Also under threat from rising sea level are Maldives and Bangladesh.

Rising level of acidity in the ocean. More carbon dioxide in the atmosphere meant more carbon dioxide is dissolved in the ocean, and as a result the acidity level in the ocean is increasing. An international panel of marine scientists says this acidity is accelerating so fast it threatens the survival of coral reefs, shellfish and the marine food web generally.

To reduce the amount of GHGs, a lot of measures have been taken up both nationally and internationally. Global warming was on the agenda of three international conferences. The first is the Earth Summit, held in 1992 at Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 150 nations signed non-binding treaties aimed at reducing emissions of GHGs. However, the short term economic costs and worries over possible political consequences meant that not much action was taken.

In 1997, the Kyoto Conference was held at Kyoto, Japan. A protocol known as the Kyoto Protocol is set up, of which 84 countries signed and agreed to the compulsory reduction in the emissions of four GHGs: carbon dioxide, methane, oxides of nitrogen and sulphur hexafluoride, and two fluorocarbon gases, the HFCs [hydroflurocarbons] and PFCs [perfluorocarbons].

A more recent international conference is in 2002, the World Environmental Summit held in South Africa. Countries reconfirm their commitment to the Kyoto Protocol. As of 2008, 183 countries were signed up to the protocol, but this does not include the USA.

Carbon footprint is the total set of GHG emissions caused directly and indirectly by an individual, organisation, event or product. This is measured by undertaking a GHGs emissions assessment. Once the size of a carbon footprint is known, a strategy can be devised to reduce it. According to the Department for the Environment, Food & Rural Affairs (DEFRA), the UK’s carbon footprint is over 500 million tonnes of carbon dioxide per year, 45% of which is accounted for by individuals.

In November 2007, Google launched the UK Carbon Footprint Project, in partnership with DEFRA, a number of organisations including the Energy Saving Trust, Act on CO2 and RSA, and also companies such as BSkyB (the world’s first carbon neutral media company), British Gas and d::gen.

Google users under the UK Carbon Footprint Project can calculate their carbon emissions, choose from a number of “carbon reducing actions” and track their progress to lower emissions. Users can also see their footprint and actions displayed in Google Maps, and view others’ footprint. However, this project is currently underway only in the UK.

As individuals, we can also help lessen the impacts of global warming by reducing our carbon footprint. Bristol is currently trying to meet the requirements for the Europe Green Capital Bid. [shows booklet] This booklet is taken from the CREATE Centre in Bristol. This booklet is enclosed with a quiz, which can then be used to calculate your carbon footprint. There are also tips and information on how you can ‘shrink your print’.

There are many other organisations which offer advices on reducing the carbon footprint. At the end of the day, it is our decisions and up to us as individuals to take action and combat against global warming. “Think Globally, Think Locally”.

My references:
- Oxford Advanced Geography (Nagle)
- Cambridge Advanced Geography: OCR Geography For AS (Hart)
- CGP AS-Level Geography: The Revision Guide
- Geography: An Integrated Approach Third Edition (Waugh)
- Geographical magazine, Issue October 2008
- Google UK Carbon Footprint Project
- Bristol CREATE
- Bristol Europe Green Capital Bid

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 7:45 PM  |  0 Comments


A Song I Wrote and Confusing Prospectus

 × × × Thursday, 5 March 2009

I wrote out this song when I woke up from a scary, scary nightmare. I can still remember bits of the nightmare: a girl was killed by her best friend when they were arguing over a boy, and the best friend nailed the body of the girl to the wall, and made a new wall over the old wall. The ghost of the girl then went back to haunt the best friend...and I am the girl.

I decided to name it That's What You Think...Right? after the haunting chorus kept echoing in my head. So here goes. WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED.

That's What You Think...Right?

It's one thing to be loved
One thing to be dumped
That's what you get for stealing him
What you get for being dim

You know just how I am like
You know I hold grudges
You just think that it's ok
I won't harm you...right?
I won't stab you...right?
The dead don't come back
Right?

It's one thing to be trusted
One thing to be betrayed
Is that what I get for believing in you
What I get for those years?

You know just how I am like
You know I prefer the truth
You just think that it's ok
I won't harm you...right?
I won't stab you...right?
The dead won't come back
Right?

I turned the situation around
Now who is suffering?
I turned the drama upside down
Now who is crying?

Meaning to say this for a while
But I just can't stand you
Meaning to say this for a while
How dare you betray me

You know just how I am like
You know I still love him
You just think that it's ok
I won't harm you...right?
I won't stab you...right?
The dead can't come back
Right?

That's what you think...right?

I just took a look at the 2009 prospectus of both Oxford and Cambridge, and I dare say it's kinda confusing. Well, Oxford's prospectus is easier to read and yeah...

I have to tidy up my able so I'll type off now. Next time, people!

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 4:26 PM  |  0 Comments


Jocelyn Tanya's Diary

 × × × Thursday, 15 January 2009

I suddenly have an urge to write! Yes! The main character is again Jocelyn Tanya, 18 years old, who is in an unstable relationship with 23 years old businessman Dave.

I hate myself for being unfaithful. I know what I did was wrong when I seduced Henry. Yes, seduce. I know fully what I was doing. My only excuse is that I felt too lonely with Dave away, but I can't forgive myself even if he forgave me. He's just too good for me. How many times had this happened? Not just once, but trice. Dave forgave me every time, but I feel so guilty. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me.

I called Alyce up and told her what had happened, and she listened to me. Afterwards, she said I should do something to fill my loneliness. Do what, I asked. Go for a run, do some nature photography, she suggested. So I did. Still I feel the guilt. Dave is away again. Sometimes I think he did this deliberately to test me. At night I can't sleep, thinking about what he is doing every time he go on his business trips. There are times I thought he is having an affair with another woman, but I am just being paranoid. I mean, how can I think this when that is exactly what I did!

The apartment feel so empty without Dave. I lay on the bed, still in my bathrobe, thinking of Dave and the first time we met. That was last July, on a hot and sticky night. Me and the other girls were clubbing in this newly-opened pub. I am the one with the lowest tolerence to alcohol, so I had no memory of what happened after downing two pints. When I woke up, I found myself in Dave's apartment, lying on the same bed as I am lying on now, Dave sleeping on the sofa. The hang-over was terrible. Dave woke up and told me he had brought me home after one of my friends pleaded him to. He placed a cold towel on my forehead to ease my headache. It was here and then I swear to never drink again.

More coming soon! I'll make a novel out of this yet! *laughs*

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 6:04 PM  |  0 Comments


Am I heartless?

 × × × 

During these 18 years of my life, I had experience too much loss to feel sad about them anymore. Numb? Maybe. Just watching coldly as others weep, feeling nothing. What is gone is gone. I accept this long ago, but I have to admit that I do long time to turn back. Sometimes. I like solitude but not if it is going to drive me over the cliff called sanity.

Many times I feel as if I am not me, not Jocelyn Tanya when I am around my friends. Sure, I look happy hanging around them, but do people ever wonder if it is all an act? Emotions are easy to act out. I can pretend to be happy while screaming inside. I have many friends, yes, but close friends who really understands me and accept me for who I am - sinister, screwed-up and insecure - are few.

Imagine how it would feel when a close friend just betrayed you. I feel really mad at myself, because really, I'm very picky when it comes to close friends. Downgrading the status from best friend to mere 'friend' is simple, a few harsh words and deafness to what she has to say is all there it is. The deed is done. Good bye. And please don't forget to die a terrible death.

What amaze me sometimes is that the so-called 'friends' actually think my wall, my act, my defence, is me. Confident and easy-going? Crap. I feel like screaming: "Fools! Can't you see this isn't me? Can't you see I'm not perfect? Idiot!" I put up the act not to deceive, but as a form of self-defence, hoping, longing, one day there will be someone out there to help me, break up this act and make me feel safe. The fact that I was born into a loveless family never help, if anything, it only make my wall thicker, harder to penetrate, harder to reach the real me.

If you haven't realise yet, this is my attempt at writing about emotions. Jocelyn Tanya is a fictional character and yeah, basically just trying to write. I'm still suffering from Writer's Block. Yeah, like, since last year...

Comments are welcome.

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 10:43 AM  |  0 Comments


my short story competiton entry

 × × × Friday, 14 November 2008

This is my entry for the short story competiton. It is a modification of what I wrote for Write On last year, titled The Serial Killer at that time, so it is longer and injected with more crap. Maybe it's less scary too. I'm really nervous. I hope they will at least read it. So here goes.

When I woke up it was still dark and I knew straightaway that everything was different. I got up from the sofa I had been sleeping on and was startled when Fish jumped onto my lap, even more so when the grandfather clock started its hourly call. I looked around the living room, stroking Fish and laughed nervously. My favourite place was giving me the creeps. It felt strange to know I was now alone in this world, when less than a week ago I was still living happily with my family.

The grandfather clock struck for the forth time and fell silent. Fish turned its head and looked at me with its feline eyes, as if it was trying to comfort me, to tell that everything was all right despite what had happened, that it will always be there for me. I reached for it and stroked it again, slowly this time. Fish purred and rolled over, a look of contentment on its face. Something about Fish’s posture reminded me of that day. I continued stroking, thinking back...

"Cynthia, open the door this instant!"

I sat on my bed, holding onto my giant teddy bear, pouting. In a corner of the room, Fish was washing itself. It looked up at the door when Stan banged on it again, as if it was analysing the situation, then lose interest and went back to its ritual of licking itself clean. I still remember I had on Stan’s favourite shirt at that time, a black oversize with swear words in red across it. Stan was mad at me, not because I was wearing his favourite shirt, but because I had just bluntly refused his ‘tiny, little request’, or so he put it, and promptly locked myself in my room.

"Come on, Cynthia, it can’t be that embarrassing!" Stan pleaded again.

"It IS embarrassing, you weirdo!" I screamed across the room at the door. No way was I going to accept his so-called request. It was simply out of the question. Trick and treat on Christmas Eve, when it was freezing outside? What on earth was he thinking?

"Cynthia..."

I opened my bedroom door than, catching him by surprise. He stumbled backwards, cross-eyed and amazingly still had the daze expression on his face from my refusal earlier. I ran down the stairs before he had the chance to try his puppy eyes on me. Mom screamed at me from the kitchen, something about me demolishing the house one day with the amount of pressure I exert on the floor.

Then the doorbell rang.

Just as the doorbell rang, the grandfather clock went off. Dong...dong...dong...dong. It was four in the afternoon. I ran to answer the door, not bothering to look through the peephole. I wasn’t expecting any friends of mine, nor was Stan and mom; but I wasn’t thinking straight at that time.

An old man was standing on the porch, looking very pale. I noticed he had no scarf or gloves on him, and he was asking me if it was possible for him to seek refuge from the cold. Just for a while, he said. I was rooted to the spot. Something in his eyes said otherwise, but I didn’t understand what it meant. Mom and Stan came along, Stan pushing me out of the way to let the old man in. Mom cooked up a bowl of hot porridge just for him, and Stan hung around to hear the old man talking about his son who apparently used to live around here, but had moved without telling him.

When dad got home, Stan made the old man repeat his sob story, and to my horror, my parents then proceed to ask him to stay for Christmas, since he had nowhere to go. What were they thinking! Nowhere to go or not, they shouldn’t invite a complete stranger to stay over. And for Christmas too! I wasn’t happy about it, and tried to tell my parents, even Stan, but they won’t hear anything of it. Their minds were made up. I screamed something along the lines of “you’ll be taken advantage of!” at them but in vain. I was lucky I wasn’t grounded, but I ground myself anyway. The old man was disgusting. Making use of his fake fragility to wind Stan around his finger. What shocked me was that my parents fell for the same façade.

Not to my surprise at all, Stan accuse of being anti-elderly, ageism, bla bla bla. I kept up my rebellion, insisting the old man should be sent on his way. I refused to talk to him and would lock myself in my room the whole time he was in the living room, laughing away at some memories with my family. I could not forget the look in his eyes when I answer the door that day. It seemed to harbour nothing but evil.

Christmas came and went, and the old man still lingered. I was not on speaking terms with that old man, no, but I tried several times to politely ask him to get out of my home, only to be politely refused – the nerve indeed! Stan caught me asking him to leave once, and we got into this huge fight. Stan and I had never fought with that much intensity before, and I felt really guilty afterwards, but I wasn’t wrong. I was sure about that.

A few days after the fight, I was returning home after buying pizzas, another of Stan’s ridiculous ideas, and found the front door locked. I searched my pockets and found no key. Darn. Slightly miffed with myself, I walked round my house to the back, where the kitchen door was. Mom would be there, and she would let me in. I quickened my pace and in a few moments found myself in front of the door. I looked through the glass, expecting to see mom at the sink – but no. Instead I saw my family sitting at the kitchen table, blood gusting out from their stomach and heads, the old man standing over mom, still hacking at her with a pickaxe. I turned around and ran...

It had been a week since then, but the police still had not found the old man – the murderer – yet. I had insisted staying in my house, avoiding the kitchen, living off potato chips, salad and coke. Suddenly Fish leapt off the sofa, its eyes staring at something, someone behind me. The grandfather clock struck four, the last sound I heard as the murderer bought down the still blood-stained pickaxe...I was not wrong, after all...

The Creative Writing Club teacher: Violent! Are you sure you want to enter this?
Me: (gulp) Yes, I'm sure, Mrs Nicholls.

So she sent if off. And that is it. Gyaa...I'm on nerves...

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Jolene Wong blogged @ 10:37 AM  |  0 Comments


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